Elle Michael River

Elle Michael River

writes curious fiction from beyond the rabbit hole

writes curious fiction from beyond the rabbit hole

NPP Opt 2

Hi, I’m Elle. <3 

I write curious fiction from beyond the rabbit hole and perform heart surgery on manuscripts missing their soul. After losing my words to my rare disease, I’ve started telling stories onstage where I like to sing songs like a sad ghost. If you haven’t seen me in a while, I’m likely busy inspiring others as a professional muse, reading sex novels aloud to my cat, or panic-eating peanut butter in the upstairs closet. Don’t worry, I’ll respond to your text eventually.

I have my fancy-pants MFA from Southern New Hampshire University and my comfy-pants BA from Thomas Edison State University. Learn more about me here…

Hi, I’m Elle. <3 

I write curious fiction from beyond the rabbit hole and perform heart surgery on manuscripts missing their soul. After losing my words to my rare disease, I’ve started telling stories onstage where I like to sing songs like a sad ghost. If you haven’t seen me in a while, I’m likely busy inspiring others as a professional muse, reading sex novels aloud to my cat, or panic-eating peanut butter in the upstairs closet. Don’t worry, I’ll respond to your text eventually.

I have my fancy-pants MFA from Southern New Hampshire University and my comfy-pants BA from Thomas Edison State University. Learn more about me here…

I wrote these. And someone other than my cat thought they were pretty good.

Jesus Bread

Published on Intrinsick Magazine:​ The buttered body of Christ bathed in Sunday sunlight upon a polished silver platter. I dropped the crystal cover on the vestry floor and stifled a cough. Dust stuck to the spines of old hymnals, the abandoned robes of dead choir members, and a set of forgotten advent angels.

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For I Have Sinned

When Jesus walked into the nuthouse, I knew things would get interesting. Our savior wore a muddy gray t-shirt, a pair of ripped jeans my mother would never allow past her seasonal welcome mat, and a pair of really rad, orange converse.

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Flight

Published on Reflex Press: Eyes snap open, stirred by a silent alarm. She peels stiff covers from her frigid skin, chilled by a thermostat set to 64 degrees, even in winter. Gray-socked feet hit the stained carpet, and she wiggles her toes. They’re painted a forbidden red.

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Blog

Blog

I usually write these blogs on my phone, while stuffing my mouth with chocolate. Reruns of FRIENDS play on my TV in the background (I want to be a Joey, but I know I’m a neurotic Rachel writing 18 pages front and back ). 

I can promise you zero live, laugh, love quotes in these rambling monologues, but I can also promise you at least two hearty “fucks” and a good sprinkling of unapologetic nihilism. Also, I’m wildly inconsistent

I usually write these blogs on my phone, while stuffing my mouth with chocolate. Reruns of FRIENDS play on my TV in the background (I want to be a Joey, but I know I’m a neurotic Rachel writing 18 pages front and back ). 

I can promise you zero live, laugh, love quotes in these rambling monologues, but I can also promise you at least two hearty “fucks” and a good sprinkling of unapologetic nihilism. Also, I’m wildly inconsistent.

Book Reviews

Book Reviews

When I’m having an existential crisis, I’m reading cathartic feminist novels, demon sex epics, or one of my old Berenstain Bears books. Sometimes you just need the wisdom of patient Mama Bear to get you through a Tuesday. 

I like writing about books, too. I used to do that more, but then I realized I was writing about other people’s books more than my own. Listen, I just love books, and one day I will disappear into an ethereal, floating library. It will have at least six fluffy cats and unlimited lavender tea. 

Anyway, you can also read some of my old book reviews below and on my Instagram, maybe. If you’d like me to review your story or ARC, send me a message, but no promises. I might hate it.

When I’m having an existential crisis, I’m reading cathartic feminist novels, demon sex epics, or one of my old Berenstain Bears books. Sometimes you just need the wisdom of patient Mama Bear to get you through a Tuesday. 

I like writing about books, too. I used to do that more, but then I realized I was writing about other people’s books more than my own. Listen, I just love books, and one day I will disappear into an ethereal, floating library. It will have at least six fluffy cats and unlimited lavender tea. 

Anyway, you can also read some of my old book reviews below and on my Instagram, maybe. If you’d like me to review your story or ARC, send me a message, but no promises. I might hate it.

Hire Elle

Elle offers content writing and creative coaching. She won’t give up on your messy manuscript, and you shouldn’t either! Send her an email about your project, and she’ll resurrect it from the dead (zombie apocalypse subplot optional).

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